1 week on TRT

Week 1 Observations on Testosterone:

Sexual

- Sex Drive: My sex drive has improved a little bit, nothing drastic but I do feel horny more easily. I started to feel how I felt when I was younger. I changed from a flatlined non-sexual person who needs loads of stimulation to get turned on, to a man who now has an itch in his loins that needs to be scratched and the urge for sex is now present there if nothing is done for three days (nofap/noporn/nosex).

- Erectile Function: The amount of visual/physical stimulation needed to get an erection is reduced. Previously I had to jerk myself off for a while and look at porn to get hard but I could now get a hard erection just with thoughts in my head. I had morning wood recorded on 3 out of 7 days compared to 0 days before starting TRT.

- Nipples: My nipples feel more sensitive now and even a slight brush against an object would feel good on the nipple. Nipples are in the slightest bit more meaty and rubbing them would turn me on.

- Testicles: No observable changes in size.

Physical

- Muscle Strength: Over the last week's workouts I have managed to increase my PRs by 5-10% for barbell compound lifts. These exercises have stagnated in weight for some time (bench press 100 to 105kg, military press 60 to 65kg, bent-over rows 80 to 85kg, squats 80 to 85kg). I think likely that it is not just testosterone that contributed but also the change in my diet (10 eggs/day) that improved the numbers.

- Tendon/Ligament: With the increase in muscular strength from my workouts, I had three muscle strains all within the span of the first week. After my back day doing bent over row, I suddenly had a lower back muscle ache that got pretty bad. Whenever I bent to pick things up I could feel the strain. Then after shoulder day my right thumb started to get strain when extending. The funniest one was my neck muscle when I got horny at the end of the first week and decided to take out my fleshlight (it’s counted as nofap since I thrusted instead of using hands?). When I was ejaculating I had the most intense orgasm and as I was looking at myself in the mirror my neck was striated and flexed beyond what I’ve seen and then the neck strain hit. The strains are pain but I push through them by continuing my workouts anyway and they seem to subside when I mobilise them.

- Muscle Mass: My weight was 89kg on the day of the jab and now I am 91kg. Notable steady increase of about 0.4kg per day with some fluctuations in between. But with an increased appetite, I can see how this has increased my body weight.

- Muscle Pump: The pumps are bigger and more intense now after workouts at the gym and DOMS stay for longer. Before TRT, the DOMS would only be felt the next day on the muscle I was working out on. However, now I would feel DOMS across my body even though the workout was focused on a specific body part. For example, I did a shoulder workout and the next day I felt muscle swelling and soreness across my chest, back, shoulders, legs and arms. It could be that I am lifting heavier weights more intensely now so it is engaging more muscles across my body. Who knows.

- Sweating: Sweat glands are definitely starting to work harder now because I sweat more easily and my body odour is muskier and denser if I make any sense, like it's not so much a bad germy B.O. but more of a masculine smell that I like the smell of. It's probably the testosterone doing its work on my pheromones. To me, it's a plus because the smell now gives me more confidence (weird I know but I like my own smell lol).

- Thirst: Likely directly linked to the increased amount of sweating, the amount of water I need to drink on a daily basis has increased. In the past, I would fill my 600ml water bottle up to three times a day, but now I drink so much water that I would fill up the bottle 4-6 times.

- Acne: No observable acne occurrence.

- Water Retention: No observable water retention symptoms

Lifestyle

- Appetite: My appetite is BIG. When the hunger hits I really do feel it now. I can eat huge meals and get hungry again a few short hours later, and when the hunger hits I get a strong urge to eat right away. It's not the kind of hunger where I'm like okay maybe I will pick up a snack to eat. No. It's an urge to eat a full hearty meal. About that, the preference for food selection also tends toward high protein and meaty diets. I have no more cravings for sugary / processed / fried foods. My body craves eggs, meat and foods with solid nutritional value. Coke and candy do not interest me any longer.

- Sleep: I have better sleep now but I am unsure if it is by pure coincidence that I fitted air purifiers in my room to clean the air just last week (yes I am crazy about optimizing my health right now). I feel that I sleep more deeply and do not wake up in the middle of the night. Based on my daytime alertness, I would say that I am having better sleep. But the fatigue does come in naturally when nighttime hits so it's not like I have excess energy that keeps me up even at bedtime.

- Mental Clarity and Alertness: I am more awake in the morning hours and clearer in my thoughts, my vision feels more vibrant like I can focus in my present state more clearly.

- Mood: I feel more calm and collected. Negative thoughts do still stay in my head but I think I care less now of things if I feel like it's not important. 

- Motivation: Big improvements in motivation and I think this is where testosterone manages to pull all the improvements together. The saying that testosterone makes effort feel good does hold true. I have increased aggression (not in violence but an effortful drive) to push myself to do things and make myself better. There are less of the what-ifs and more of just taking action and doing things and getting things done to make myself better. Previously, it would take me quite an effort to drive out of the house and get to the gym on a weekend (when I could just rest in bed), but the drive now is more intense and I want to get myself going and doing things and not just be comfortable.

- Energy: Greater energy in the daytime, I feel more athletic and willing to move around. I do get a little restless when I am stationary for too long, but as long as I keep myself occupied with things and move out and about, the energy is burnt off well, and then I'm good. 

- Stress and anxiety: I think I was put in some stressful situations during the week, especially during the Chinese New Year period when I had social gatherings and social anxiety would usually run strong. I feel more calm and can handle my emotions better. In fact, my emotions have become more masculine and I no longer become emo or sad when I encounter problems. Which is definitely a big plus.

Am I enhanced or optimised?

With my first shot of TRT to bring up my testosterone levels from the low end of the range up to the middle/upper range, I can't help but think to myself, am I enhanced or am I merely optimising and taking back what I should be having - a healthy testosterone level.

On the idea that testosterone is used as a shortcut to get better, I do not think I am taking any shortcuts as I have done my duty of maxing my potential in the other aspects of my life - sleep, diet, stress management and fitness. I take a myriad of health supplements, I wake up early to get healthy sunlight and I actively get myself moving whenever I can. In that sense, I feel that I have put in the work. Taking exogenous testosterone helps to put them all together and makes me more motivated, such that it feels good to put in effort once again.

Assuming that sex drive and erection symptoms are not the issue here, some might argue that my testosterone level is normal for that of a man in his 30s (15.4 nmol/L). However, I'd question back why would I want to just be normal? If I have the potential to optimise my testosterone levels to that of a man in his 20s, why would I not do it? 

Aside from the health risk of killing my sperm and potentially having higher cancer risks in the prostate and colon in the long term, I see testosterone as a greater benefit. After all, people are willing to drink alcohol and smoke to comfort themselves and make themselves feel better, why then is exogenous testosterone seen as the bigger villain? 

On top of that, I am not bringing my testosterone levels to supraphysiological levels like those of professional bodybuilders giving them the enhanced potential beyond normal human means.

If people were to ask me if I am on TRT, I would be very transparent and tell them I am, but I would go further to explain that it is different from steroids in that I am not enhanced above human testosterone levels. The normal male T range is 10 to 35 nmol/L, whereas bodybuilders can reach 50 nmol/L or even more. TRT should replicate our natural physiological levels from when we were at our most healthy (early 20s). My testosterone level three years ago when I was 27 y.o. was at 24.86 nmol/L, which clearly shows a marked drop in amounts. That is the reason why I have had significant symptoms of low test recently (and some others that I noticed have grown since some years ago).

In 6-8 weeks, I have to come to a decision on whether I plan to continue getting Nebido TRT shots, and that decision would determine how TRT will continue with me down the years. The longer I sustain on TRT, the greater the barrier to me getting out of it cold turkey.

In the meantime, I shall continue to observe the changes in my physiological and mental conditions over the next few weeks.

PL-300 Power BI Exam

Just completed the PL-300 exam and I must say it was one of the harder exams among the few I have taken recently for my career growth. The passing score required is 700/1000 and time seemed so tight I literally used the entire time given down to the last 5 seconds with the last few questions unable to be reviewed.

I gotta say it's a sigh of relief when I saw my grade attained to be 770/1000 (Passed). I was honestly mentally prepared that you know what if I fail, it will be okay because it was that difficult. But I'm grateful for this outcome.

In hindsight, some reflections on what helped and what could have been done better:

1. Skillcertpro

Using a study question bank really helped me. I bought from Skillcertpro a study pack of 30 exam question sets. Funny enough I only practised on 8 exam sets because it was a lot (each exam practice took me 2 hours to finish). This was I think the biggest contributor to my learning.

2. Online Instructor Course

I took an online instructor-led Power BI Data Analytics course that follows the Microsoft Learning Path. The course provided me with exposure to Power BI and Power Query and made me understand the foundation of these two software. I must emphasise the foundational aspect because the PL-300 exam was far far beyond what was taught in this class. Beyond learning the ETL process on Power Query and creating visualisations for a dashboard in Power BI, you have to understand the WHY behind doing the actions because the exam focused a lot on case studies. I'd say take a course to get an understanding of Power BI if you never touched the software before but if you have experience with the software then this is not necessary.

3. Skillable guide lab practice and Microsoft Learning Path

The Skillable lab practice provided as an additional self-assessment by the online course was beneficial because I took the practice on my own time and completed it myself to better understand Power BI. It is very comprehensive in learning Power BI hands-on, and since the class might be slower and miss out on some parts, this Skillable lab really covered each chapter accordingly. However, one issue was that it only covered the basic Power BI topics (transform data, create data models, visualise data, share data). The harder topics like DAX Functions, Data Connections, RLS Data Security, Data Modes and PBI Service were barely touched upon.

Ultimately, doing practice questions from the question bank really helped me tackle the exam questions because I did notice a trend after a while that questions kept reappearing. 

Now I can finally put away this stressor and focus on my next upcoming major exam at the end of the month: PMP 

Shall we ask each other these questions?

If you’re in a room with everyone you ever met who will be the one you’d look for?

If someone gave you a box of everything you ever lost, what is the first thing you’d look for?

If you had a chance to relive one day of your life, which day would it be and why?

If you could receive a letter from your future self, what advice or insight would you hope to find in it?

Imagine if you had a chance to revisit a moment in the past, which moment would you choose, and what would you do differently?

If you had to define your purpose in one sentence, what would it be and how does it influence the choices in your daily life?

Started TRT

Last week I took the step to go see my doctor for testosterone issues as I felt that my libido, sex drive and erections have suffered significantly since a few years ago. What pushed me to go forward was my recent low drive in life, not having the same aggressive energy that I used to have, and when my doctor asked if I had any morning wood, I knew that was the kicker.

I have not had any morning wood for some years, never once was I concerned about it, until the doctor asked about it and I realised that was something that’s been missing.

So 3 years ago when I did a health checkup, my testosterone level was at 24.86 nmol/L, now the report came back at 15.4 nmol/L at the lower end of the range. 

My GP, who I really like because he takes his time to explain and clarifies my concerns, told me that I can give Nebido a try 1000mg/4ml (Testosterone Undecanoate).

So came the injection with a whopping 4ml of oil into my butt (2ml on each butt cheek). I was afraid that the needle would hurt because so many reddit users said the giant needle was painful as hell, but when the needle entered there wasn’t any pain. As the doctor took his time to inject the oil, there was this growing discomfort (not pain but just a really sore feeling expanding inside my cheek) and I could feel some ache going down the leg. One needle of 2ml took about a minute to inject I think, so two of that on each cheek.

I started to ponder to myself, would I be doing this lifelong? Would it make my life much better? What’s going to happen from here?

I’d say this first experience was a good one, and surprisingly fast to get administered from my first consult.

I shall journal my experience as the days go by, what symptoms or improvements are felt.

Comfort and Effort

Some funny thought got in my head while I was doing my sauna protocol.

The idea that testosterone makes effort feel good, while on the other hand, having comfort is not that great for masculinity. So like effort is “eff” - for fucking. It takes effort to fuck and it builds your testosterone. 

Conversely, comfort “cum” - for ejaculation. When you ejaculate, it feels comfortable and you lose all your motivation while the feel good sensation takes over you and testosterone level “drops”.

Okay bye.

Adjustments to Routine

Changelog

1. Whey Protein and Creatine
Taken every morning, 24g whey protein (1 scoop), 5g creatine (2 tsp),  1g matcha (1/4 tsp)

• Added Matcha for caffeine and appetite increment
• Consumption changed from training days to include rest days. Everyday 1 protein shake, for improved protein intake and muscle growth recovery 

2. Supplements

Taken daily, total 7 pills, including fish oil, multivitamin, ashwagandha, maca root, biotin, prostate support, testosterone support

• Consumption changed from training days to include rest days. Everyday supplementation, for consistency of supplement support
• Added Fadogia Agrestis and Tongkat Ali, to increase testosterone support for energy and libido

3. Heat therapy

Once a week. 15min interval x 4 cycles. 5-10 minutes rest in between.

• Converted from infrared sauna / steam sauna / onsen pool to proper dry traditional sauna for best results for hypertrophy protocol

4. Workouts

5 times a week weekdays. Body part plus legs plus abs per session within 90 minutes

• Changed to morning workouts for better mood enhancement through the day

Who you're around is who you'll become

I find exceptional truth in this, especially from my recent change in workout schedule from working out after work, to before work early in the morning. The people who work out in the morning seem to have much more drive and dedication, because they made the difficult decision of sleeping early, leaving the comfort of their bed and heading out to the gym in the dark before sunrise.

The morning men look more focused, disciplined and show a stronger intention of why they're there. I see none of the in-between-sets phone users and draggy socialising chats around me in the morning. If you're there at 6:30 am, you're there to do your routine, push hard and get out to continue your day. It also helps that (based on my observation) guys who train in the morning are better looking and give off greater masculine energy, as though the general testosterone level is above that of the common crowd.

This change to a morning routine on weekdays before work has given me a greater sense of dedication and improved my mood to succeed in my fitness goals this year. I find that it has made me enjoy the hard work and drove me to prioritise fitness as the first thing I look forward to each day.

I would say there is a different vibe I'm getting from my workplace, or generally the people I see outside of fitness, where there is a sense of ennui and listlessness in their lives. At work I often hear people saying they're tired, they have no energy, they have no motivation, they want to go home, and I find that immersing myself in this environment over time kills off my motivation. This brings me to the idea that I should always surround myself with the top-tiers, people who are better than me, and stronger-willed than me so that I will push myself harder and become a better version of myself. We're social animals after all and we look to our peers to gauge our own performance.

I will keep to my goals, surround myself with the right people, and make the first year of my 30s an exceptional one.

Addiction vs Excellence

“Addiction is a progressive narrowing of the things that give you pleasure. A good life is a progressive expansive of the things that bring you pleasure. And even better to that is pleasure through motivation and hard work. If you experience pain and continue to exert effort, the rewards are that much greater when they arrive” 

Social, Porn and Netflix are worse than you think, Andrew Huberman

Testosterone

Thinking of taking exogenous testosterone (TRT) to increase my muscle growth, drive and libido. Shall arrange a consult with a doctor in Singapore to see what’s best but if no action is provided by the doctor then I’ll probably take a plane to Bangkok and get prescription there.

On my personal end, this week has been bountiful for my health and fitness. Been started on the 5x weekly morning workout and 2x cardio sessions that I completed successfully. I am now including once a week sauna sessions as part of my weekly routine for muscle growth and mood enhancement as well. Plus it feels good to be naked so that’s a plus.

Just the thought of testosterone has been lingering in my mind. Its convenient and affordable to consult in Bangkok. I feel that at 30 years old I’m starting to drop off on my motivation and drive so this year I’ll do something about it. It can be TRT or anything else. We’ll see.