On the idea that testosterone is used as a shortcut to get better, I do not think I am taking any shortcuts as I have done my duty of maxing my potential in the other aspects of my life - sleep, diet, stress management and fitness. I take a myriad of health supplements, I wake up early to get healthy sunlight and I actively get myself moving whenever I can. In that sense, I feel that I have put in the work. Taking exogenous testosterone helps to put them all together and makes me more motivated, such that it feels good to put in effort once again.
Assuming that sex drive and erection symptoms are not the issue here, some might argue that my testosterone level is normal for that of a man in his 30s (15.4 nmol/L). However, I'd question back why would I want to just be normal? If I have the potential to optimise my testosterone levels to that of a man in his 20s, why would I not do it?
Aside from the health risk of killing my sperm and potentially having higher cancer risks in the prostate and colon in the long term, I see testosterone as a greater benefit. After all, people are willing to drink alcohol and smoke to comfort themselves and make themselves feel better, why then is exogenous testosterone seen as the bigger villain?
On top of that, I am not bringing my testosterone levels to supraphysiological levels like those of professional bodybuilders giving them the enhanced potential beyond normal human means.
If people were to ask me if I am on TRT, I would be very transparent and tell them I am, but I would go further to explain that it is different from steroids in that I am not enhanced above human testosterone levels. The normal male T range is 10 to 35 nmol/L, whereas bodybuilders can reach 50 nmol/L or even more. TRT should replicate our natural physiological levels from when we were at our most healthy (early 20s). My testosterone level three years ago when I was 27 y.o. was at 24.86 nmol/L, which clearly shows a marked drop in amounts. That is the reason why I have had significant symptoms of low test recently (and some others that I noticed have grown since some years ago).
In 6-8 weeks, I have to come to a decision on whether I plan to continue getting Nebido TRT shots, and that decision would determine how TRT will continue with me down the years. The longer I sustain on TRT, the greater the barrier to me getting out of it cold turkey.
In the meantime, I shall continue to observe the changes in my physiological and mental conditions over the next few weeks.