I find exceptional truth in this, especially from my recent change in workout schedule from working out after work, to before work early in the morning. The people who work out in the morning seem to have much more drive and dedication, because they made the difficult decision of sleeping early, leaving the comfort of their bed and heading out to the gym in the dark before sunrise.
The morning men look more focused, disciplined and show a stronger intention of why they're there. I see none of the in-between-sets phone users and draggy socialising chats around me in the morning. If you're there at 6:30 am, you're there to do your routine, push hard and get out to continue your day. It also helps that (based on my observation) guys who train in the morning are better looking and give off greater masculine energy, as though the general testosterone level is above that of the common crowd.
This change to a morning routine on weekdays before work has given me a greater sense of dedication and improved my mood to succeed in my fitness goals this year. I find that it has made me enjoy the hard work and drove me to prioritise fitness as the first thing I look forward to each day.
I would say there is a different vibe I'm getting from my workplace, or generally the people I see outside of fitness, where there is a sense of ennui and listlessness in their lives. At work I often hear people saying they're tired, they have no energy, they have no motivation, they want to go home, and I find that immersing myself in this environment over time kills off my motivation. This brings me to the idea that I should always surround myself with the top-tiers, people who are better than me, and stronger-willed than me so that I will push myself harder and become a better version of myself. We're social animals after all and we look to our peers to gauge our own performance.
I will keep to my goals, surround myself with the right people, and make the first year of my 30s an exceptional one.
“Addiction is a progressive narrowing of the things that give you pleasure. A good life is a progressive expansive of the things that bring you pleasure. And even better to that is pleasure through motivation and hard work. If you experience pain and continue to exert effort, the rewards are that much greater when they arrive”
Social, Porn and Netflix are worse than you think, Andrew Huberman
Thinking of taking exogenous testosterone (TRT) to increase my muscle growth, drive and libido. Shall arrange a consult with a doctor in Singapore to see what’s best but if no action is provided by the doctor then I’ll probably take a plane to Bangkok and get prescription there.
On my personal end, this week has been bountiful for my health and fitness. Been started on the 5x weekly morning workout and 2x cardio sessions that I completed successfully. I am now including once a week sauna sessions as part of my weekly routine for muscle growth and mood enhancement as well. Plus it feels good to be naked so that’s a plus.
Just the thought of testosterone has been lingering in my mind. Its convenient and affordable to consult in Bangkok. I feel that at 30 years old I’m starting to drop off on my motivation and drive so this year I’ll do something about it. It can be TRT or anything else. We’ll see.
Just thinking that several of my childhood fans have already passed. What would they be doing if they were still around?
- Chester Bennington (Linkin Park)
- Tim Bergling (Avicii)
- Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing)
Trying to understand why I have zero relationship with my father. Not only do we not talk, I also cannot put myself in a situation where I am alone with him or I will just leave and walk off. And sometimes when destructive thoughts get really bad or after he says something that I feel really hurt about, I just wish he’s not around any longer.
This issue stemmed from my childhood where he will lecture me about life but never sought to hear me out or listen to a word I have to say. Then came my coming out journey, when I came out to him and from then on we never spoke again.
Is it the role of the adult child to reach out to the parent or it’s the parent’s duty to communicate and take initiative. I wonder that at times because I would think is it my fault that we are not talking. Perhaps so.
Some of the deep-rooted issues I identified:
Really happy with myself today for ending the week with a completed workout routine, which was a deep surprise to me because this week I was having terrible stiff neck pain and was struggling with some personal mindset struggles about work and life in general. I’m glad I made it, small wins and I’m grateful.
So I was reading about Andrew Huberman’s guide to muscle building using heat therapy and I attempted it over the weekend. The idea is that you stay in a sauna and repeat in 3-5 times, cooling yourself off in between. I did infrared sauna and stayed for cycles of 15 minutes each, which to me were quite a challenge since I have a really high metabolism and I sweat profusely in the sauna room.
I think the best thing I got out of this was not the muscle building aspect that Andrew Huberman recommended, but the mental feeling of euphoria and brighter thoughts. Something to do with dynorphin and endorphin release, where dynorphin gives the feeling of agitation and discomfort while in the sauna, and then endorphin takes over after the sauna to make us feel euphoric and relieved.
Which makes me think, we’ve got to struggle and feel pain in life to be able to enjoy. It’s simply life’s balancing equation. A core memory of my days in army cropped up, where we would have a really tough day lugging our weapons and backpacks to do shooting drills up a hill, all while under the sweltering hot sun. I would be dripping wet underneath my army long fours each time, and when we got a chance to rest under a shaded tree finally, the sheer sense of relief and euphoria was so immense. Little comforts like a shaded tree where we would never bat an eye for, turns out to become such a relief. That’s the same feeling I got again after doing the heated sessions in the sauna.
Shall pull through the coming weeks maintaining the tips that Andrew Huberman shares and make the weeks to come mindful and meaningful. He’s really such a good mentor to my life and I appreciate him for it.
Making changes, the first step is to look within and set out a plan for the routines I will take on a daily/weekly basis. I am summarising Andrew Huberman's routine and tailoring it to my own benefit:
Daily Routine:
Waking Up - Wake up between the time of 5:00am to 6:00am and stick to that rhythm. To achieve that, aim to sleep from 9:00pm to 10:00pm
Hydration - Drink 2 glasses of water first thing in the morning, instead of picking up the mobile phone to doom scroll on social media.
Blended Greens - Early in the day, blend a cup of fruits and vegetables (cucumber, apple, celery, banana, spinach, berries, carrot, nuts or whatever)
Sun Exposure - Head out as soon as possible in the daytime and get 10 minutes of sunlight while walking to generate visual optic flow (walk outside or to work in the morning, as soon as possible)
Caffeine - Consume coffee 2 hours after waking up for adenosine regulation, after getting sunlight and movement. Stop caffeine intake after 2pm STRICTLY.
Meal - Eat a strong low-carb meal packed with fruits and vegetables, STRICTLY NO fried foods, NO raw foods, NO processed foods.
Intermittent Fasting - Eating meals within the 11:00 am to 7:00 pm window and fasting outside of that time, only taking supplements outside of that time.
Dim Warm Lighting - Switch to candlelight or warm lights at night and stay away from phone and computer screens before sleeping
Reading - Do bedtime reading, between 10-30 minutes to relax the mind and get into a state of rest
Supplementation - Daily supplementation stack containing multivitamins, fish oil, zinc, saw palmetto, stinging nettle, pumpkin seed oil, lycopene, maca, ashwagandha, tongkat ali and biotin
Weekly Routine:
Hypertrophy Training - Shoulders, Arms, Chest, Back with Legs and Abs every session keeping within 1.5 hours each session with total sets of 16-20 and total reps of 8-12 (total of 4-5 workout days per week)
Cardiovascular Training - Running or High-Intensity Interval Training (twice a week)
Contrast Therapy - Cycling between heat exposure via sauna/onsen (15 mins), then cold exposure by ice bath (3 mins), and repeat back and forth for 3-5 times (once a week)
Physiologic Sighs - Taking two consecutive inhales (first inhale and second pull more inhale) and then one full exhale and do this deliberate slow breathing for about 5 minutes
Active Recuperation - Ensure every day of the week meets fitness and health criteria as a means of active recovery. Varying between hypertrophy workouts (4x a week), cardiovascular training (2x a week) and
Non-Sleep Deep Rest - Practice Yoga Nidra for 10 mins each night lying down and making a mindful scan of all parts of the body and imagine sinking and relaxing into the earth
An acronym NEWSTART to help keep at it:
nutrition, exercise, water, sunlight, temperament, air, rest, tenacity
There is this struggle of deciding between continuing working in the business with my family or get a job out there and paving my own career direction.
If I were to stay and climb the ladder in the family business, will I feel more fulfilled and content with myself? The reason why I am thinking to leave now is because I don't feel that personal growth and fulfilment, to the point that I’m like an empty shell serving the expectations of others than myself. And worse still, I don’t feel any recognition from the very people I’m serving, so even if I rise up the career ladder in my family business, would I feel any better? It’s a difficult choice and one that is further complicated by the strained relationship (or the lack of any) with my dad. Like how we don’t talk at home and he puts up a facade to others like we’re good. I think that’s a key reason why I need to leave. I must.
All these pent up feelings are calling out to me to take action. Just like back then when I had my first break up with a woman and then subsequently a first breakup with a man (funny isn’t it). That drove me to take action in my life to pull myself together and put shit tons of effort into reclaiming my fitness and physique.
I’ve got to take action for myself now, only now it’s for career and personal development.
I’m excited for this year as a whole new set of challenges has been set out in my new year resolutions.
Woke up first day of the year next to Kenneth and we’ll have breakfast with his parents. That’s a great start to the year. I feel so welcomed by his family it almost feels like this is what my family is like, in contrast to my own family whom we don’t really talk if at all.
For my resolutions this year, here’s a few key things I want to achieve this year among the Personal Development stuffs.
Take video editing in my own hands and take it seriously for real. Don’t keep procrastinating that it’s a skill that someone else will teach, that I got to attend some class or watch some YouTube video to be adequate. Just make them and don’t care if it’s bad. Grow from there.
Do something about my career. Don’t compare with others but compare internally, am I growing in this job. If I’m not, then move. It’s nothing to do with being paid better yada yada because it’s about self worth and value. Am I growing or stagnant? Make a change and take action if recognition doesn’t come.
Good health and fitness and a good looking body feels excellent, so do lots of that. Morning workouts are challenging but it’s fun, and the feeling of having completed it feels the very best. I’m glad I started the habit of exercise in the morning but I must keep the morning workout momentum and train to be an athlete, achieving for myself fitness challenges (IPPT, Spartan, Hyrox) that come up in the year.
And lastly, it’s time to get out of my bubble. Go on the apps and talk to people, make friends, don’t be afraid to meet people for coffee. Talk to strangers, have wholesome conversations, learn what others have to offer.