Relationship and Work
Both areas where I am not feeling too well
Relationship side of things, I don't feel that I can be truly myself. Over the past months I have been feeling unsupported and restricted in ways that I want to explore or try. I tried growing a beard / more body hair / ideas for business / ideas for side hustles / growing out my hair / try out new styles, and it has generally always been negative at the first sharing of my thoughts. Sometimes I feel that I am not heard because it will become filler conversations and change of topic. I know his work is busy, his work is purposeful and he has a clear idea of what he wants, and hence has a fixed preference of what he wants out of a partner. In that sense, I feel like I am incompatible because I have to compromise my aspirations or behaviour to suit what he prefers and thats just not being myself. My happiness is being hindered. I spent an evening hanging out with a friend recently and it felt so healing because we understand each other's aspiration for bodybuilding and interest to try new things.
Work side of things, I feel tired of doing the same thing again and again. I am no longer venturing on developing new systems but handling operational work which is boring down on my career satisfaction. Furthermore, I am handling on projects that I have to deal with Fitson (links to my father) which makes me not enjoy this job. What was once a joy to handle new projects now feels like a chore and I look forward to head to the gym each day, cant wait to leave work as time passes. Past few days the thought of quitting has been spiralling I want to take a change, though I'm not sure if its just a sudden feeling or something that would recur again. Hope to ride through this peak week else maybe something greater will happen.