So this went on until toward the end of lunch when my sister highlighted an observation to my dad saying that he constantly looked at my nephew, who was sitting next to me, and that was a sign that he was trying to speak out to me. Me and my dad I had a situation that had been going on since I was a kid but got significantly worse when I came out 5 years ago. The tipping point was during the midst of Covid when I cut off acknowledging him and speaking to him because I felt that he was not respecting me as a person, and more so worsened by the fact that he still had his expectations of how I should be - a heterosexual son bringing home a wife to continue the family line. And I think those years separated us widely. Perhaps it was during those times as well that gave him the time to come to terms with accepting my homosexuality and my partner.
Regardless, back to the lunch, my sister said why not let this very occasion restart the father-son relationship and start afresh. We can forget about the past and begin a new chapter.
So since then, over several weeks, I started to put in more effort to acknowledge my dad and speak one or two sentences to him. At the same time, I also noticed that he tried to carry conversation with me. Sometimes I disagree with him, but I put that aside and do my best to speak to him.
After watching How To Make Millions Before Granda Dies with my parents over the weekend, I thought it was also a reminder that parents are not around forever, and they may not be perfect but we can do our best to embrace what little they offer us before they're no longer around. After all, he may not have been there for me physically as I was growing up, but he worked hard to provide for the family financially. And that is enough.