A time for reflecting, resetting and realigning for the upcoming year.
Reflecting on the past year
1. What worked for me
- What habits made me feel strong, grounded and proud?
- Staying consistent with my bodybuilding routine kept me confident in myself. I feel proud to have completed the Hyrox competition even though it was difficult for my weight level. For bodybuilding, I was really proud that I changed up my routine from 4x to 6x per week (Cbum routine) to give myself a newfound motivation to go to the gym. The entire regimen of training, diet, supplementation, and testosterone has enabled me to maintain my bodybuilding goal. Next year is when I have to lock in and bring my physique to the next level.
- When did I feel most like myself?
- Being true to my authentic self, being uniquely me, not conforming to other people's expectations. I grew out my hair into a manbun-ish hairstyle just to try something new, and I feel happy that I attempted it. Growing out a beard and body hair because that makes me feel true to who I am, instead of fitting in to others' perception of what looking good means to them, I chose to stick with what makes me feel good about myself.
- Which relationships gave me energy instead of draining it?
- This might have been a tumultuous year with Kenneth, but I am glad that we came out of it stronger than before. There are some issues with the sexual needs part of the equation, but I think effort from my end does help a little, although it's something I hope to meet on his end in the upcoming year as well. This year's milestone of engagement means a lot to me because it demarcates an invested relationship with Kenneth. He chose to stay, and I chose him for the long-term. We're in this together
- What decisions brought long-term peace, and not just short-term relief?
- Letting go of my ego and taking a step back to reassess myself, how I react to situations. It could be the testosterone working its way in growing my stoic self but I think concurrently I have also learnt to better regulate my emotions by protecting myself from emotional turmoil from things I cannot change. I've learnt to stick to what is in my control - my mind, my soul, my body. This has helped me stay guarded from unnecessary emotional disruptions from family and friends.
Top 5 things I must protect in 2026
- My drive for bodybuilding and training consistency
- Clear emotional boundaries with family
- Choosing depth in content creation over social noise
- Being honest about who I am with others
- Giving energy to the right people
2. What did not work
In 2025, I stayed too long in _a project that I don't enjoy as I felt that it was not fulfilling to me and does not give me the sense of job satisfaction_
I avoided __communication with family _ because I was afraid of __rejection and lack of reciprocation but a lot of it was built in my head but not the real outcome__
Trying to be _fitted into the mold of what my partner wanted me to be like shaving off my beard and cutting off my long hair _ cost me __my sense of identity and self___
3. Identity reset: Who am I becoming?
- Who am I no longer to be?
- In 2026, I am a man who chooses courage over comfort, not to take the easy path but the path that is driven by my inner purpose, to bring to this world my potential as a bodybuilder and in fitness through hypertrophy and aesthetics as a gay man
- What traits define the next version of me?
- I honour my body as a temple, nurturing my soul through fitness and wellness to enlighten the people around me with health and positivity.
- What does my future self never tolerate again?
- I will never tolerate comfort and hiding, but to only speak truth and do what is uncomfortable to grow
4. 4-Pillar Life Audit
Score for each from 1-10 at this EOY2025 moment and why:
Mental/Emotional
- Emotional Regulation (8) I feel stable emotionally and excited to embark on the new years journey ahead. My hormone replacement therapy (testosterone) has led to wavering mood (sometimes very down, sometimes very well) but I think I have come to a good constant point at this end of year where I feel good with myself
- Self-respect (5) I know I can do better, and there's so much of me that I did not put on from the start of the year until now. I feel that most of the year I was drifting and not really giving my all.
- Inner peace (6) Having had struggles with family and relationship through this year, it was a year of learning and growth, and I am confident that next year I will soar to a greater height
Physical
- Strength and Physique (7) I am proud that I managed to stay committed throughout most of the year but I feel that I could have given more intention and purposeful routine to achieve my physique goal
- Health and Recovery (5) My health was not the best this year as I fell ill and got injured numerous times throughout the year, I would take care of myself more next year knowing that I am prone to certain injuries
- Energy levels (5) I know I can give more of my energy to the work that I do, be it for bodybuilding or work and have good faith that it I lock in and give my best, I can achieve much more physically
Love and Connection
- Romantic relationship (8) With intimacy having its up and downs in the middle of the year, the year ended well with us completing our engagement photoshoot proper and our love for each other felt all the stronger. However, next year will be integral of me to put in more effort to Kenneth feeling loved
- Friendships (7) This year I have made a new friend group and redirected my attention from previous old school friends to a new set of friendships. I think this has showed me that nothing is everlasting and its time to invest in a new chapter of friendships who are aligned in my phase of life.
- Family boundaries (7) I would say that I ended this year on a cordial note with family, as there were many occasions where I was unhappy and there was no communication to be had but I think what matters is that I have set a healthy boundary to protect myself and maintaining a safe distance so that there is less friction
Purpose and Work
- Meaning (4) Feeling abit lost in meaning of my work, and relying mostly on bodybuilding as the constant drive. However, next year I feel I definitely need to expand on my potential as a online personal trainer, starting an online business and creating social media content to create purpose and meaning on my life so that my main career can be a means to an end of earning income
- Financial growth (6) I have been investing this year but definitely not sufficient in the ways of making significant impact to my portfolio. Given the fluctuation of the market this year, growth has not been sizeable either. I have to focus more on savings and reducing expenses to create my wealth for investment next year. Less spending on unneccesary goods
- Creative expression (4) I have not created much of my own this year and that is an area I will need to work on. Content creation was something I shied away from as I was lazy and think too much, so I got to take on a more just do it approach to get things going, instead of endless pondering without action.
5. One primary focus per pillar
Emotional >>> Respond, communicate, not react
Physical >>> Carry a physique that reflects discipline and power
Love >>> Deepen affection, not just maintain it
Purpose >>> Build a brand that embodies my truth
9. The Year Theme
Endure, Execute, Become.
Accept hardship, take action, and let results follow
- Stoicism
- Masculinity
- Identity
10. My motto
In 2026, I commit to becoming the man I respect.
I choose growth over comfort, truth over approval, and alignment over fear.
Even when it's hard, I will not abandon myself.
