I need to revamp myself

 Its been 2 weeks of non-training and I've been sluggish (1 week of vacation and 1 week of getting diarrhoea food poisoning).

Well thinking of it I have gotten sluggish several months ago when I lost the motivation to be on a high for workouts and socialising. I've become more of a recluse, playing mobile games at home all the time and putting gym on the sidelines.

I have to revamp myself and get back on the fiery streak I have been on at the start of the year when I went on a cycle. Bodybuilding, health, and wellness.

Below are some areas I will have to focus on:

- Sustenance (Diet): Whole Foods

   Whole foods,

    High-carb: Brown rice, whole grains

    High-protein: Lean meat, fish, eggs, dairy

    High-fat: Avocado, nuts, seeds

- Sleep (Rest)

    CPAP machine to improve sleep quality

    Use a nasal pillow mask for comfortable sleep

    Sleep 8 hours nightly minimum

- Strength (Hypertrophy Training)

    6 days on 1 day off training split,

    Day 1: Quad and Calves

        Smith Squat 3 x 10-12 (90kg)

        Single Leg Press 3 x 10-12 (100kg)

        Leg Extension 3 x 10-12 (70kg)

        Dumbbell Bulgarian Split Squat 3 x 10-12 (20kg)

        Standing Calf Raises 3 x 10-12 (27.5kg)

    Day 2: Chest and Triceps

        Bench Press 3 x 10-12 (110kg)

        Incline Bench Press 3 x 10-12 (100kg)

        Dumbbell Flye 3 x 10-12 (20kg)

        Seated Dumbbell Triceps Extension 3 x 10-12 (30kg)

        Pushups 3 x Failure

    Day 3: Back and Biceps

        Lat Pulldowns 3 x 10-12 (85kg)

        Seated Cable Rows 3 x 10-12 (90kg)

        Bent Over Bench Dumbbell Rows 3 x 10-12 (32.5kg)

        Lat Pressdown 3.x 10-12 (45kg)

        Standing EZ Bar Curl 3 x 10-12 (45kg)

    Day 4: Shoulders

        Military Barbell Press 3 x 10-12 (65kg)

        Dumbbell Shoulder Press 3 x 10-12 (35kg)

        Dumbbell Lateral Raises 3 x 10-12 (22.5kg)

        Machine Pec Deck Fly 3 x 10-12 (60kg)

        Reverse Pec Deck Fly 3 x 10-12 (48kg)

    Day 5: Hamstring and Back

        Hamstring Curl 3 x 10-12 (60kg)

        Dumbbell Stiff Leg Deadlift 3 x 10-12 (30kg)

        Dumbbell Good Morning 3 x 10-12 (30kg)

        Lat Pulldown 3 x 10-12 (85kg)

        Lat Pressdown 3 x 10-12 (40kg)

    Day 6: Arms

        Tricep Bar Extensions 3 x 10-12 (45kg)

        Seated Dumbbell Tricep Extension 3 x 10-12 (30kg)

        Dumbbell Bicep Curl 3 x 10-12 (22.5kg)

        Standing EZ Bar Curl 3 x 10-12 (45kg)

        Triceps Bar Extension 3 x 10-12 (45kg)

        Hammer Bicep Curl 3 x 10-12 (22.5kg)

    Day 7: Rest and Abs

        Ab Crunches 3 x 10

        Jack Knives 3 x 10

        Russian Twists 3 x 10  

- Shred (Cardiovascular Training)

    Twice Daily Cardio

        Morning: Brisk Walk / Stair Master 25 minutes

        Evening: Brisk Walk / Stair Master 25 minutes

- Supplementation (Micronutrient Support)

    Whey Protein

    Creatine

    Fish Oil   

    Multivitamin

    CoQ10

- Steroids (Hormonal Support)

    Testosterone,

        Year-Round: 150mg per week

        Bi-annual: 300mg per week for 16 weeks

- Sunlight

    Get daily sunlight exposure early in the day

- Social

    Make more friends

    Join social groups

- Sexual

- Skincare

It almost happened

 Few days ago I guess the lack of sex triggered Kenneth to explode in his desperation for not having sex in this relationship after I mentioned that I have been masturbating alot while alone. This was after us having a Australia road trip for 10 days together not having done anything sexual together. It was tough because on a roadtrip its constantly on the move, I get tired and the logistics of locations may not be suitable so I was not so in the mood but I guess that was a big trigger for Kenneth already and then we returned to Singapore he was already showing signs of neglect. After the big explostion, we subsequently had a chat the next evening and started to question the continuity of the relationship. Have I been an opportunity cost? I think the thought of breaking up has been on the horizon and its starting to weigh down on Kenneth.

To me, romance is not about the sex but the emotional love for each other, being by each other and caring for one another. To Kenneth, this simply feels like best friends spending time together and the lack of sex is the differentiation of a friend from a lover. However, for me, love is more about an emotional one and sex is optional as I see sex as more of a urge to get done and rid away once in awhile when we have hookups with others. Perhaps my mentality of sex needs to change and more intimacy needs to be given to Kenneth.