I've been feeling fuzzy and warm these past few days. This year, I feel truly blessed to have found a group of gay friends — something I never thought I needed before. But now, it's become a kind of identity, a safe space where I feel seen, understood, and like I finally belong.
Looking back, I realise I’ve never really had friends who were consistently there. My straight friends were always kind, but often preoccupied — wrapped up in their own lives, relationships, and priorities. I was usually the one initiating catch-ups, while they devoted most of their time to their girlfriends, and friendships took a back seat. I was used to it.
With my gay friends, though, it’s different. It feels refreshing. We travel together, make time for activities, and show up for each other — even with our busy, adult schedules. It’s a kind of chosen family I didn’t know I was missing, and I’m really grateful for it.
As I turn 32, I want to keep investing in myself — physically, aesthetically, and mentally — and keep striving toward greater heights. I’m determined not to let anything hold me back from living the life I truly want, even if the obstacle is someone I love.
Lately, my relationship has been going through a rough patch. I’ve been feeling restricted, like parts of me are being held back. There are differences in our perspectives and the directions we want to take in life. And while I still care deeply, I’ve come to realise that if it doesn’t work out, I’d rather be single and free to live life on my own terms.